A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM

A friend sent this to me and thought I would share...no idea who the original writer is...

Dear Diary, 

For my birthday this year, I purchased a week of personal training at the local health club.
Although I am still in great shape since being a high school football cheerleader 43 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.
I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Christo, who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear.
Friends seemed pleased with my enthusiasm to get started! The club encouraged me to keep a diary to chart my progress.
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MONDAY:
Started my day at 6:00 a.m. Tough to get out of bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to find Christo waiting for me. He is something of a Greek god-- with blond hair, dancing eyes, and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!
Christo gave me a tour and showed me the machines... I enjoyed watching the skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics class after my workout today. Very inspiring!
Christo was encouraging as I did my sit-ups, although my gut was already aching from holding it in the whole time he was around. This is going to be a FANTASTIC week!!
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TUESDAY:
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally made it out the door. Christo made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron bar into the air then he put weights on it! My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made the full mile. His rewarding smile made it all worthwhile. I feel GREAT! It's a whole new life for me.
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WEDNESDAY:
The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in the club parking lot.
Christo was impatient with me, insisting that my screams bothered other club members.. His voice is a little too perky for that early in the morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY annoying.
My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Christo put me on the stair monster. Why would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators? Christo told me it would help me get in shape and enjoy life. He said some other crap too.
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THURSDAY:
Butt hole was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl. I couldn't help being a half an hour late-- it took me that long to tie my shoes.
He took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was not looking, I ran and hid in the restroom. He sent some skinny witch to find me.
Then, as punishment, he put me on the rowing machine-- which I sank.
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FRIDAY:
I hate that jackass Christo more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. Stupid, skinny, anemic, anorexic, little aerobics instructor. If there was a part of my body I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.
Christo wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't have any triceps! And if you don't want dents in the floor, don't hand me the darn barbells or anything that weighs more than a sandwich.
The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like the drama coach or the choir director?
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SATURDAY:
Satan left a message on my answering machine in his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today. Just hearing his voice made me want to smash the machine with my planner; however, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote and ended up catching eleven straight hours of the Weather Channel..
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SUNDAY:
I'm having the Church van pick me up for services today so I can go and thank GOD that this week is over. I will also pray that next year my husband will choose a gift for me that is fun-- like a root canal or a hysterectomy. I still say if God had wanted me to bend over, he would have sprinkled the floor with diamonds!!!

A Price Tag on Health...

It is impossible to put a price tag on good, quality health.

However, we can to some degree measure the toll that poor health takes on our personal and professional lives.

Professional: It can affect wages lost, reduced productivity, time away from work, and don’t forget added medical expenses.

Personal: Poor health can attribute to reduced functioning and a decreased quality of life, which in turn can place an enormous burden on your family members.

Lifestyle habits can increase or prevent certain diseases.

Some risk factors are beyond our control, like age, gender, ethnicity, family history – while other factors are modifiable, such as smoking, drinking, drug use, physical activity, food choices, and weight.

Obesity, diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and cancer are linked to poor long-term lifestyle behaviors; this includes poor diet, inactivity, smoking, excessive alcohol or drug use.

The more risk factors one has, the greater chance there is for developing disease.

As these lifestyle diseases wreak havoc on the American population, the burden it has on our economic situation is astonishing.

How, you ask?

Americans are paying more out of pocket expenses for medical care and prescription drugs than ever before.

Employers are feeling this effect trickle down into their companies due to decreased productivity, increased number of sick days being used for illnesses, lack of energy employees have, and in their bottom line due to the huge jump in insurance health care costs.

Did you know that only one in three people exercise on a regular basis? One in four does not exercise at all. Two of every three are overweight or obese. Nearly 40% of adults spend the majority of the day sitting; eight of ten people recognize the benefits of exercise, but only two exercise enough to meet physical activity guidelines.  WOW!

If the number of obese and overweight people in the US continues to grow as it has over the past three decades, nearly 9 out of 10 will be considered overweight or obese by 2030. Scary thought, right?

What is the solution? There is no one answer for that, but it is very clear that most chronic diseases can be prevented with good, healthy food choices and a regular exercise regimen. Instead of seeking out costly “cures” (and I use the word cure loosely), we need to act on the knowledge that exercise and good food choices are powerful, effective, and affordable.

Studies have shown that modest investments in your health can bear considerable results physically, mentally, and financially.

If all the inactive people in the US were to begin an exercise regimen and eat better, we as a nation could see a savings of $77 BILLION in direct medical costs every year! Yes, I said 77 BILLION.

Medical spending is everybody’s problem!

Consider being part of the solution instead of being part of the problem. Don't rely on pharmaceutical drugs to "cure" what ales you. Take charge of your own health today!!

Start eating better...demand healthier foods become more readily available and start exercising!

If you can't run...than walk....if you can't walk go for a swim...but DO something.

EZ Coach Programming has the solution. Let EZ Coach educate you, so you can take control and responsibility of your health. Only YOU can be accountable for YOU.

-Laurie Gouley – Health Coach
www.myezcoach.com 

Resources: Department of Health and Human Services. National Center for Health Statistics. Physical Activity Guidelines for Americans.